


Reasons

by Carefulthatsenough



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, discussion of patricide, dont kill your fathers people, post-TFA, this take just after the rescue scene of Starkiller base, unless it's Brendol Hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 01:16:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14148744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carefulthatsenough/pseuds/Carefulthatsenough
Summary: “I always imagined that you were a spoiled brat who got where he is in life because of the advantage his family gave him” Kylo says."No, that's you, Ren" Hux says, turning to look at him, Kylo glares at him.





	Reasons

Why did it have to be Hux to find him bleeding and half-conscious in the snow?

Kylo is clutching his side, bleeding all over his seat in the shuttle.

“Where does it hurt?” Hux asks.

“It doesn't” Kylo answers

“Then why are you crying?” Kylo can hear the eyeroll in Hux’s voice.

“I’m not” he isn’t, he can’t be, there’s no reason to cry over Han Solo.

“Yes, you are Ren” Kylo ignores him, Hux sighs “At least take something for the pain”

Kylo remains silent and bleeding all the way to the finalizer.

He can feel Hux’s eyes on him watching him go to the medbay leaving a trail of blood behind him.

 

It doesn’t take long for Kylo to snap at everyone in the medbay and leave. The pain doesn’t bother him and the scars that he’ll have would show that he survived one of Snoke’s tests.

Of course, Hux is there to bother him the moment he gets a second of peace.

“What do you want?” Kylo asks, giving Hux his best glare but Hux has never cowered in front of Kylo’s glare, he only glares harder and gets into his room.

“I was told that you decided to discharge yourself” Hux says.

“It's none of your business” Kylo says turning his back on him and going to sit on the couch.

“What happened Ren?” Hux asks, frowning.

Silence

“Is it the girl that you managed to let escape?” Hux presses.

“It’s not my fault” Kylo says, running his hands through his hair. He’s not in a mood to get into a fight with Hux.

They were never the best of friends but at the beginning there were some moments that could have been the beginning of _something_ between them but they are both too stubborn and too power hungry to admit that they might need each other.

“I killed my father” Kylo finally says

“What? Why?” Hux says and he genuinely sounds surprised.

He sits down next to him, frowning.

“Why?” He asks again.

“Snoke said that it would make me stronger” Kylo says staring right in front of him trying to ignore Hux’s warmth next to him.

“Did it?” Hux asks.

“Yes” he says but Hux doesn’t need to read minds to know that he is lying

“I killed my father too, well not personally but in a way I did it” Hux admits.

Ren reacts the same way Hux did a few moments ago "What? Why?"

Hux shrugs as if it’s nothing “I finally had an ally who was willing, I always imagined how I would kill him, I had so many fantasies about it. I don't even remember since when I had these fantasies maybe since he took me away from my mother but I was so young I barely remember that.  Maybe it was the first time he hit me because I complained about the cold.” Hux says all that with the same tone of voice he uses when he’s trying to explain some engineering thing to Kylo “Have you ever been to Arkansis?” he asks.

“No, it’s your home planet, right?” Kylo asks, knowing the answer.

“Yes, the rain never stops there and you can never feel warm, ever” Hux says, he unconsciously rubs his hands together.   

“I always imagined that you were a spoiled brat who got where he is in life because of the advantage his family gave him” Kylo says.

"No, that's you, Ren" Hux says, turning to look at him, Kylo glares at him.

Hux shrugs again elaborating "My father position did give me some advantage in the hierarchy of the order but I worked for it and fought for it. I had a good mentor. She saw something in me that my father never did. I respected and admired her while my father only made me feel useless, unwanted, he made me fear him and, in some way, he made sure that I would in some way be the end of him" Hux looked up at the ceiling with a small smile on his face, Kylo doesn't know how to feel about this confession and the way Hux reacts to it.

Hux turns that smile to him with a glint of something in his eyes and asks "What did your father do to you to make you kill him?"

Nothing.

Nothing Han ever did would justify his death.

As selfish as he was, his last moment was selfless. He was offering anything that could help Kylo and Kylo killed him believing that Han’s death is what he truly wants and needs.

"He was afraid of me" he says, looking away from Hux.

"With good reason, maybe he wasn't force sensitive but a part of him knew that you would be responsible for his death. I like to think that my father thought that I might kill him one day but the truth is that he probably thought that I didn't have it in me, to weak. His bastard son that he never cared for." Hux says.

"Would you kill your mother or patricide is where you draw the line" he adds.

Kylo feels as if he just got hit with a blaster again.

"I'm not even sure if mine is still alive" Hux says going on with his monologue, talking about himself as always "I would never kill her, I killed my father for so many reasons but mostly because I finally could"

"What are you trying to gain from this conversation if what you're doing is just talking about how proud you are of killing your father" Kylo says.

"I'm just showing you how you're supposed to feel after killing yours" Hux says.

Kylo laughs "I'm pretty sure you're incapable of feeling anything other than contempt" he says. Hux laughs too at that.

"Wrong choice of word than" He says and gets up standing right in front of Kylo looking down at him with disdain "You killed your father because you wanted to. How did you do it? Did you force choke him?" Hux asks.

Kylo leans his head on the back of the sofa and closes his eyes trying to go back at the moment where he killed Han, he tries to focus on it but he can't. He opens his eyes looking up at Hux.

"He begged me to go back with him, he said that he'll do anything to help me. He just wanted his son back but Ben Solo has been dead for many years" Kylo says, he sees something in Hux's eyes he's not sure what but it looks like anger.

"Your father loved you until his very last breath and you killed him"

"He wasn't a great father" Kylo says angry.

"He was much better than mine and we both killed them. If my father was yours, you would have killed him but I don’t know if I would kill mine if he was like yours” Hux says.

Kylo doesn’t have the energy to continue with this conversation.

“Just shut up, Hux. I just want to rest” Kylo says, closing his eyes. He should know better than to have his defense down in front of Hux.

He feels Hux bending down and then lips on his. His eyes fly open but Hux is already straightening up.

“Then rest, Kylo Ren” Hux says, turning around and leaving Kylo’s room.

Kylo just stays there, heart beating fast.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, kudos and comments are always appreciated and make me happy!
> 
> Here's [my tumblr](http://chillanddrinkcoffee.tumblr.com/) and my [kylux sideblog](https://carefulrenthatsenough.tumblr.com/)


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